Lucky or Blessed

I've been told that I live a charmed life.

I’ve been told that I live a charmed life.

I’ve always been lucky, not the fame and fortune kind—it’s more like the, “how did I just get away with that,” kind of luck. I can give you hundreds of examples, most of which end in, “I should’ve gone to jail.”

Like the time when I was 19—I’d driven a couple trash bags full of sweet-skinky weed to my apartment in Moultrie so that I could quick dry it in my oven(I was in school there, about 90 miles from home). On the way back home, my friend and I were pulled over for speeding. We’d just lit a blunt, and my buddy hurried to put it out and douse the truck cab with cologne as the GSP hit his blue lights.

When he approached the vehicle, the state patrolman asked where we were coming from—I lied and said we’d just left a football game in Tallahassee, to which he responded, “You boys attend FSU?”

“Yessir,” I lied again—luckily I did have on an FSU shirt.

After he’d left my driver’s side window with my license and insurance in hand, I looked down and saw that the shoe box full of half dried bud that I’d stashed under my seat was clearly visible.

No ticket, not even a warning—turns out that patrolman was an FSU alumni. So I got a “Go Noles,” instead of going to jail. Yeah I know lucky AF, right?

A similar situation happened recently—there were no drugs on board, but I was cheating. As a commercial driver, I am supposed to have my DOT number and the company name clearly visible at all times. But I was in need of new rear tires, they wouldn’t pass an inspection, so I ran the last trip naked—Wildcating is what it used to be called. You hide anything that shows you’re a commercial vehicle, and avoid the weigh-stations. I’d planned on replacing the rear tires before that trip, but I’d had a front blowout on the previous trip and was forced to replace the front tires instead. I couldn’t afford all six.

Well you guessed right, I got pulled over by the Indiana State Police. He noticed the paper tag, you know the temporary tag you get when you purchase a new vehicle? I’d taken the one off of the cargo trailer I’d hauled up to Ohio, and replaced my transport plate with it when I decided to run naked. The State Policeman saw the paper tag and thought it looked fishy, so he pulled me over. Y’all, he could have placed me out-of-service, and fined me more than $10,000 for the handful of infractions I’d broken—but instead, he gave me a warning, “Because I’d been honest,” he’d said. He also made me promise to get new tires when I finished that trip—a condition which I readily agreed to. Incidentally, that will be my last commercial driving trip. So I’m still riding on those bald tires, at least until I get a paycheck or two from my new job.

There’s also the time when I was trying to kill myself, by driving into the Mexican desert alone. I’d crossed the border one Friday night without even being stopped. I was completely undocumented, and was determined to push it just as far as I could—but God had other ideas, he blocked the fucking road! I’m not kidding you…

It’d just become dark, and I was determined to keep going—but there was a huge backup of traffic leaving Matamarosa. I went around probably 30 or 40 stopped vehicles in an effort to maneuver my way though the quagmire, finally finding that a cargo truck had turned on its side and was partially blocking the road. I was then stopped by the Federalies. They would not let me pass, so I was forced to turn around and get a hotel room. The next day took me deep into Narco-controlled territory. I’m still alive because of that accident.

Do you feel lucky or unlucky in life? Is perspective all that matters? Do you see a glass half full, or is it half empty?

And how about this new job? I’ve been contemplating a change for quite some time. I’m tired of being on the road—I enjoy farming, but that’s not me, and frankly I’m not very good at it. I haven’t had a real job since I lost everything and runnoft to die.

I actually mentioned a couple years ago to a coworker on the farm, that I thought I’d like to work at the little post office. It’s less than two miles from my home. I was just beginning to write at the time—and it seemed like a great way to be able to do both, work and still have time to write.

“I think I might just go get that job,” I told him one morning as we drove past the tiny rural post office.

“Ah, I don’t think that’s how it works anymore MJ,” was his response. “The days of getting a job with a handshake are long-gone my friend.”

Well fast forward two years or so, and guess what? Just when I decided that it was time to make a move, the clerk position at the post office opened up!

And yes while, “It doesn’t work that way anymore,” is partially correct—the application process is done 100% online these days—I got the job because I took my carefully composed resume and cover letter to the Postmaster and introduced myself. Yes it took me four trips before I caught up with her, but it was worth it—nothing takes the place of a handshake and a smile. When my online application came across her desk, I was hired immediately. (How about that for Manifestation & Synchronicity?)

And what about the countless other, smaller things? The blessings that happen every day: Finding that lost item, just as it’s needed. The septic tank being salvageable, even though I drove a tractor over it and crushed the lid. The septic man actually had an old lid on hand, and didn’t even charge me anything for it.

Harbor Freight happens to be running a sale on shallow-well pumps on the day ours dies, and I had just enough $ in the bank to buy it.

Finding the one store that still had propane after the hurricane last fall, and they didn’t price-gouge me. Heck, surviving the hurricane itself! The list is endless.

And today—I haven't been feeling well recently, so I bit the bullet and went to the doctor for blood work last Tuesday. Now I don't sick, it's been over a decade since I've been in a doctor's office—but I'm 45 and heart disease and prostate cancer run in my family. So after a week of telling myself that it does no good to worry about the future, but worrying anyway—I just received a call from the doctor’s office saying that I am 100% healthy!🙏

“Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our actions. The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others. Remember, then, that if you suppose that things which are slavish by nature are also free, and that what belongs to others is your own, then you will be hindered. You will lament, you will be disturbed, and you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you suppose that only to be your own which is your own, and what belongs to others such as it really is, then no one will ever compel you or restrain you. Further, you will find fault with no one or accuse no one. You will do nothing against your will. No one will hurt you, you will have no enemies, and you not be harmed.”

―Epictetus, Enchiridion and Selections from the Discourses

I’ve joked for many years about being blessed. I’d say something like, “My Guardian Angel is working overtime today!” Things just always seem to workout for me, but why?

I’d love to be able to answer that. But the truth is, I have no idea. I don’t know why I was born a white American male. I don’t know why my wife has stuck with me over these many years—evidently she saw something in me that I didn’t know was there. I don’t know why, despite making terrible choices over and over again, I somehow seem to squeak by unscathed. I don’t deserve it, and I never have…

But I do know one thing for sure—I’m thankful for all my many blessings, and I will not take them for granted.

So call it what you will—Lucky or Blessed. I’m still not sure, but I do see this gift for what it is and I am grateful.

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