First things First

Where do your priorities lie?

My girls video chat often throughout the day. And this morning when my youngest asked her mama what she was doing today, my Sweetheart replied jokingly, “I need to clean up around here, I’m behind because I had your baby all day, yesterday.”

My youngest said, “Oh, so now you know how it feels!”

To which my Sweetheart responded with a laugh, “Sugar, I’ve been doing this for a looong time.”

Priorities—in this new technological age, we are constantly being pulled this way and that. There is always something vying for our attention, so how do we manage it all? We must prioritize.

I have been struggling with this myself a little bit lately. Anyone that’s been reading me for very long, knows that I’ve began working part-time in the afternoons—intent on giving myself dedicated writing time every day. I consider myself a full-time writer, but haven’t figured out how to pay the bills yet with my writing alone, hence the part-time job. But it hasn’t quite worked out that way—all too often I find myself either working in the mornings also, or some other task will jump to the front of the line. I’m writing daily, but my word count still isn’t what it was during my time off last winter.

I’ve also noticed that three of my favorite writers here, are also having to make concessions—they too are having to put, First things First.

Not only is Meg about to start school, but still must work full-time to support herself—which is going to make finding the time to write more of a challenge.

Airing Down

Jennifer, the Everyday Behaviorist’s focus has now shifted to providing care for a loved one in need—while she of course, still has her own everyday duties to attend to.

And Kevin Joyce has just come back, after a self imposed digital hiatus—he’s got kids starting college, and a myriad of other things vying for his attention.

The fact is, we can’t always spend our time in the manner of our choosing. Sure we can prioritize the things in our lives that are fulfilling, but there will still be times when we must shift our attention to other, more pressing issues. This is what being a responsible adult means—we can't just blow things off to do what we want. We must put, First things First.

Marcus Aurelius said when speaking of following our path, “If there are brambles in your path, go around them.”

But how do we know what to prioritize? Some things are a given, right? I mean obviously we must eat, pay the rent, and the electric bill. But what about all the other stuff? In order to put, First things First, we have to know what our goals are—only then can we attempt to organize our time in order to best reach them.

In the past, I was much more planner than a pantser. And I used to be rather obnoxious with it—I’d have an itinerary for our family trips, I knew exactly where we’d go and what we’d be doing each day. Little did I know then, that all that really did was create more stress than comfort—so now I take a more relaxed approach to most things. This is something that writing has taught me—when it comes to my writing, I’m a pantser. Sure, I’ll have an idea where I’m headed, but that’s about it. How I’m getting there is steeped in mystery.

It’s the same in life, there is always a goal in mind—even if the goal is to just get lost and find adventure. Maybe the goal is to see what kind of trouble we can get into tonight—not real trouble of course, the wholesome kind. You know like getting the 4x4 stuck in a mud bog, blowing up an old refrigerator with Tannerite, or seeing just how big we can make the bonfire.

But if you don’t know where you’re headed, how do you ever get to where you’re going? You won’t. And even if you do happen to make it there by accident, you likely wouldn’t even realize it before you’ve passed it by.

If we are going to put our priorities in order, we must first know what our priorities are—then have the fortitude to say no to things that pull us in another direction. And to do this we have to remain focused on what matters to us, and not just scroll mindlessly though life. A mindless stroll will allow you to make a wrong turn, or be stopped by the,“Brambles in the path”, that Marcus spoke of.

When is the last time you’ve asked yourself, What do I want out of this life? Or, What makes me happy? And then, really listened to the answer?

For Kevin Joyce right now it appears to be, that he provides a sturdy launching pad for his boys to take off.

For Jennifer, it’s to make her uncle’s last days here as comfortable and filled with love as possible.

For Meg, it is obtaining her degree so that she can pursue the life she envisions for herself.

And for me, it’s finding a way to pursue my dream of being a novelist—while still being the husband, father, and friend that not only fills my soul, but also shines a light for all the others who cross my path.

In order for these goals to be realized, we must put First things First—only then are they obtainable.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the constant pull of things, take a step back and look at where you’re headed—is it the direction you want to be going? If not, what is the first step you can take towards that goal? If you can take it now, don’t hesitate—if there is something standing in the way, then address that first.

You don’t have to get there all at once—as Zeno said, “Well-being is realized by small steps, but is truly no small thing.”

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it and clicking that ❤ button, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. And if you’re an email reader, just hit reply—I want to hear from you too! Are you going straight ahead at full speed, or are there twists and turns in your path too?

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This is the one thing that’s most helpful for me — that keeps me on track.