Don't Let It Whip Ya
Wisdom from Pops
My partner is much tougher than I am. She will often joke about the fact that—while I grew up on a golf course, she was driving a tractor as her older cousins cropped tobacco. And evidently I’ve got “sticks” for legs, because I rode my bike on the pavement—hence the reason her calves look like they belong to a long jumper, is because she rode hers on a dirt road. And on, and on, and on.
I’ll admit, I’d be perfectly fine renting a condo, steps from the beach or some quaint little downtown area. But my sweetheart relishes in hard work, and she gets antsy when things are slow. We balance each other out well—she keeps me moving and motivated, and I’m often convincing her to slow down and take a break.
She no doubt gets her work ethic from her daddy. Pops is always busy. If you ever catch him relaxing in his chair, it’s intentional. And even then he’s usually studying his Bible. He’s also always ready to help others—if I ever need help with a project he’s no more than a phone call away.
Pops has helped me with numerous projects around our new home. After deciding to sell our previous home to avoid bankruptcy back in 2018, we were determined to purchase our next home outright. We were lucky enough to have an old family home to live in during this transition period, which came with a negligible amount of rent. So it only took us about 3 years to get to a place where we could purchase our current home, a run-down-old-doublewide. I made good $ working out Over the Road.
We found our house in a neighboring county. And we had just enough money to make the purchase, and pay for the move and set up. It now sits on a tiny piece of dirt that had been given to my sweetheart by her grandmother years before. I would’ve never in a million years thought that we'd end up here, or that I’d love it. Boy how times change!
If it weren't for Pops, we couldn’t have done any of it. He’s helped me with everything from the demolition of the attached buildings that were connected to the house when we bought it, to taking an old set of kitchen cabinets that my sweetheart procured and retrofitting them to work perfectly in our new home. We’ve run plumbing and electrical, did flooring, the ceiling, and roofing—you name it, and we’ve replaced it!
Pops has this saying that I think personifies his view of life's many challenges, and I hear it often when we're working on things. As I mentioned before, I’m a golf course kid—so as you can imagine, I’m not real talented when it comes to physical labor. And it never fails, anytime Pops sees me struggling with something he’ll say-
“Don’t let it whip ya, MJ!”
And just like that, not wanting to let him down or look like a wimp, I’ll power right through. Suddenly I’ll have just enough ass to make the thing go, it’s actually quite amazing. Where at one moment I doubted myself—all it took was one little prompt, someone saying, “Don’t let it whip ya,” for me to summon the fortitude to forge on and complete the task.
Epictetus said, “Man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems.”
How often in life do we doubt our abilities, to only be surprised later at how easily we were able to make it through? It’s like ripping the bandaid off—the anticipation is much worse than the actual pain. Then when it’s all over you hear, “Now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
I think that more often than not, that just by having the, “Don’t let it whip ya,” attitude—we have already won. We’re then just waiting for the circumstances to catch up.
You see this phenomenon in sports all the time. I’m a big Georgia Bulldog fan(GO DAWGS), and I’d spent many-many years waiting for my Dawgs to win a national championship.
There were many seasons that UGA had a team that was talented enough to win the big one, but they never could seem to get over that final hurdle. I’ve been to some heart breakers! Let me tell ya. But look what happened when they did finally finish first—the next year they repeated! And damn near won the thing a third straight time in 2023! Why? Of course there isn’t any one reason, but I can guarantee you that mindset was one of the reasons. They believed they would win every single time they took the field.
Coach Smart, “Ain’t gonna let it whip him,” and the team has taken this belief in itself as a result also.
We can do the same thing—anytime things get difficult, just look within and say to yourself, “I ain’t gonna let this beat me.” Sure it might still get the best of you for the time being, but you’ll triumph in the end.
And there's little more that’s as satisfying as accomplishing something that you didn’t think you could do. So, “Don’t let it whip ya,” remember—you’ve got this.💪
Joe Nichols wrote a beautiful piece this morning on suicide.
There was a time in my life when I wanted to give up, when nothing was okay, when everything was wrong. “Don’t let it whip ya,” because I am living proof that there is a light at the end of the tunnel—even if you can’t see it yet. I promise you it's there, and it’s waiting for you to turn towards it.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 988
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
I am also here for you 🙏 If you ever need to talk it out or for someone to just listen, message me.
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Your story is such a beautiful example of how love, hard work, and the right people around you can truly transform your life. Pops sounds like a real one.
I knew this was going to be good stuff, too. :)