Y’all, I’ve been married longer than I haven’t. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m noticing more and more how lucky I am. Partly because many of the people I care deeply about are still searching for their soulmate. It really puts into perspective just how truly blessed I am.

But I’ve got a confession to make — I didn’t buy her a gift this year…

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I’m a list guy. If I don’t write it down, chances are that it won’t get done. And I’m constantly jotting down a writing idea or any words of wisdom I may run across. I do have dedicated journals for certain projects, but they’re not always at hand. So I love to look through old notepads when I run across them.

I ran across this quote from Jodi Picoult this morning. I’d run out of paper on my current notepad, while working on the selection and order of my upcoming Non-Fiction book. The companion to Polk Knoll: A Collection of Short Stories. And just couldn’t help but to stop and write this.

Isn’t that the absolute truth! I’d literally just written the phrase in my journal, Destiny is not a static thing. We make our own destiny with every act, every single day. Always keep this in mind MJ.

I’ve now published two books, and expect to have a third soon. Not to mention the fact that the Southern Writers Guild is also about to publish an anthology, which I am also a contributor to. 🤯 On one hand it is mind-blowing that I have done this. Yes, it’s surreal. And yet on the other hand, it feels as though it’s almost expected.

I made the comment in the Note announcing the eBook that, “I published Polk Knoll in less than a week, start to finish.” Well that’s not exactly the whole truth. The truth is that Polk Knoll is the culmination of working towards my dream of becoming a published author every single day for the last three years. Every day. I didn’t get here all at once.

Small steps. “Well-being is realized by small steps, but is no small thing.”-Zeno

There’s a reason that is my favorite quote, because Small Steps, I can handle. Just Keep Choppin’. But there’s another motto I have once I step onto the page.

Embrace the Suck.

I’m not sure where I read or heard this sentiment the first time. The, “you can always edit a bad page, but never a blank one,” theory. But it goes really well with another one that many best selling authors have repeated over and over again.

And to take it a step further, your first book will probably not be your best either. Now I’m sure there are exceptions. But I’m starting from scratch here. I’m learning as I go. And going through those short stories that comprise Polk Knoll, proves it. There were many edits needed to those stories before they could be included in the book. Some of which, I think, made a huge difference. Nothing big. It was little stuff, a word here or slight change of phrase there.

And I could also see clearly that my writing is improving — that the more I write, the better I’m getting at telling these stories.

So I’ll continue to embrace the suck. Bad first drafts are just fine. The point is to just get it down on the page. There’s plenty of time to edit. The Ugly Duckling was over a dozen drafts from start to publication. I even found over forty edits needed once the Polk Knoll proof arrived. 🙃

Your first draft is supposed to suck — that’s why it’s a first draft. So Embrace the Suck. You’ve gotta start somewhere.

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This is my submission to the Stories from the Jukebox writing prompt, For What It’s Worth, by Buffalo Springfield. Chosen by my friend and prolific writer .

Embracing the suck can be applied to many things throughout our day. There will always seem to be some sort of obstacle, something to trudge through to get to where we want to be. And most of the time those things are not within our control. This is when we have to, “put our big-boy pants on,” as my Sweetheart calls it and, “suck it up.”

So, For What It’s Worth: Embrace the Suck. Small Steps. Keep Choppin’. Don’t Let It Whip Ya!

Calling all Poets, Fiction, & Non-Fiction writers that love music — Share your prose of 1500 words or less, using the prompt, For What It’s Worth.

Stories from the Jukebox

For What It's Worth

Calling all Poets, Fiction, or Non-Fiction writers and readers that love music — Subscribe now…

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7 days ago · 7 likes · 2 comments · MJ Polk

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Gabriel O. Maestas

LIVE with Gabriel: The Ugly Duckling

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4 days ago · 11 likes · 1 comment · Gabriel O. Maestas

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Polk Knoll — A Collection of Short Stories, is a compilation of the first stories I’ve published. I primarily write Auto-Fiction, but you’ll find a variety of styles in the following pages. All but one of these stories can be found via my blog at TheSouthernCopywriter.com. I’ve also published over 100 essays and articles there since I began writing professionally in 2024, many of which are narrated by me as well.

There will be a Non-Fiction companion book to this one titled, Essays of A **********, available in the Fall of 2026. It’ll consist of my favorite published memoir stories, poems, letters, and personal essays.

I’m also a contributor to the Southern Writers Guild Anthology — a collection of Porch Stories written by myself, Gray Merritt, Rick West, and Hank Cotton.

Though this is but one of a number of books I’ll publish this year, this collection of stories is very special to me. It’s hard to explain the feeling of pressing the publish button for the first time — it’s exciting, and scary to put your work out there for others to read!

Here’s what you’ll find in, Polk Knoll — A Collection of Short Stories:

• The Merchant Marines, was the first short story I ever published. It is inspired by the very tales that my Papa told me as a child.

• Belle of the Ball, is the only story from this collection not previously published. It was written specifically for this book, and serves as a continuation of The Merchant Marines.

• The Invisible Man, was inspired by an essay by Sean of the South(Sean Dietrich), that bears the same name.

• Cows Outside, is a group of three micros that visit the power of perspective.

The next seven stories were written submissions to Stories from the Jukebox, a weekly Substack writing group that takes inspiration from the greatest song of all time. As the founder of SFTJ, you can find a new piece of writing from me there each week. It’s free to read, and all Fiction and Non-Fiction writers are invited to join in.

• Maci’s Blue Flower, was inspired by the song, Blue Flower, by Mazzy Star.

• Dark Angel, was inspired by the song, Life During Wartime, by Talking Heads.

• I Still Miss Someone, was inspired by the song, I Still Miss Someone, by Johnny Cash.

• Here Comes The Sun, was inspired by the song, Here comes the Sun, by The Beatles.

• BJ’s Karaoke Bar, was inspired by the song, Back in Black, by ACDC.

• Woodstock, was inspired by the song, Woodstock, by Joni Mitchell.

• No. 90, was inspired by the song, A Bar in Amsterdam, by Katzenjammer.

• Sunday Funday, is a fun story written after I saw a mail truck on a Sunday.

• And the final four stories are all part of The Chronicles of a Farmhand Series. The first three: Vaccination Day, It Happens Real Fast, and Harvest Season are Auto-Fiction. And I finish that collection and this book with a memoir story titled, Share the Road.

Happy Reading!

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I’ve been writing daily for a while now, and I’ve amassed quite a catalog of essays and short stories. And I’ve already published my first book under my pen name. But MJ Polk has yet to put anything in print. So I’ve decided to focus my attention for the time being on the production of two books: One will be a collection of Essays, and the other a collection of Short Stories.

I’ll also be co-publishing a Southern Writers Guild Anthology, with Grace, Rick, and Hank. I expect it to hit shelves in August!

And that brings me to my point — Paste Special — Shift+Ctrl+V. Did you know about that?

A friend and I were talking recently and she said to me, “I don’t know how you know that,” when referring to something on Substack.

Then we got all off on a conversation about knowing things. And how you can’t know stuff until you know stuff. And how that’s what life is — just doing stuff. And how that is why you have to just do it. Don’t talk about it. Do it.

I’ve always had a knack for getting by. I don’t typically finish first. I’m not usually awarded with a superior performance. But I am generally able to get whatever I set out to do, done — sometimes remarkably. It’s one of my greatest strengths!

But it’s also frustrating to feel as if one’s always teetering on the edge. It’s exhausting, frankly. Part of the reason that I’ve put this off already is the fact that I’d gotten in the habit of editing my final drafts on the Substack draft. Which means that all of my backup/original Google Doc copies would need editing before they could be published… Dun Dun Dunnnn.

So while we’re working on the SWG Anthology together I notice something — after I’d spent the better part of an hour editing Topeka or Bust to be added. Same issue right? I’d made edits within the Substack draft, so the Google Doc version needed to be updated. But when I got into our Shared Folder, Rick already had an updated copy of Topeka or Bust there. 🤔 What the?

Now you’d think I’d ask him right away about it right? I’m not one that’s afraid to ask questions.

Nope. Instead I stewed on it for, Idk, days probably? Which only served to delay the process even longer. Why I chose to feel like an idiot for days versus just asking him, I have no idea. But finally, when I’d reached a point where I’d exhausted every other option, I did.

“Rick, how did you get all of those stories transferred over to our folder? Like I mean, the correct final drafts from Substack?”

Then I explained how I’d been struggling with getting all of my copies edited. Grace was actually the one that answered first, “copy + paste special.” We share a group message. It’s mostly where all our Porch Stories originate.

Thanks to this new knowledge, I am now well on my way to publishing My first two books! Seriously, you wouldn’t believe how many steps that saves me. It literally has made three books possible.

So going forward I am also going to try to give myself more grace, when I don’t know things. I can’t know everything. I am going to struggle at times, and that’s okay. That’s how you learn. That’s how you grow.

There’s an old saying: It’s not a mistake until you make it twice.

So I’ll keep walking the line. I’ll ask questions. And if I make a mistake, I’ll correct it and keep on moving forward. Small steps baby!

Polk Knoll — A Collection of Short Stories, is available for purchase on Amazon Now!

Polk Knoll — A Collection of Short Stories, is a compilation of the first stories I’ve published. The name, Polk Knoll, comes from a hand burned wooden plaque that hung above the bookshelf in my grandparent’s den — a plaque that proudly announced my Papa’s claim on his little hill.

Knoll is defined as a small, low, natural hill or mound of earth.

I primarily write Auto-Fiction, but you’ll find a variety of styles in the pages of this book. And though this is but one of a number of books I’ll publish this year, this collection of stories is very special to me. It’s hard to explain the feeling of pressing the publish button for the first time — it’s exciting, and scary to put your work out there for others to read!

Purchase Book

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Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it and clicking that ❤ button, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Oh and if you’re an email reader, just hit reply — I want to hear from you too! Did you know about Paste Special?

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I’ve been getting quite philosophical over on the Jukebox the last few weeks.

Stories from the Jukebox

Understanding Hallelujah

This is my submission to this week’s Stories from the Jukebox song prompt, Hallelujah, by Leonard Cohen. Subscribe now to have your submission shared…

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20 days ago · 7 likes · 6 comments · MJ Polk

It’s been just about a year since I’ve published, What Is The American Dream? And while I ended that article on a positive note. There’s been many times over the past few months that I’ve questioned whether The American Dream is indeed still alive.

I’ll speak a little bit about this in this week’s Jukebox post as well — I’ll share it with you next week. Big guys and little guys and how we can all do our part to make this a better world.

But it’s feeling more and more like these days: The American Way is to kick a man while he’s down.

Hank Cotton’s even getting in on it!

While I was in Mexico, one of the main differences I noticed was that not everything seemed to revolve around money. I mean, it’s not like they’re worry free down there economy wise or anything. It can be mighty hard to get by. But still, it just doesn’t seem as if more money is the primary goal in life. As opposed to here, Americans seem to be obsessed with money.

Money, or rather greed, can seem to be at the base of almost every single aspect of American life at times. And I despise it. It’s disgusting the way America uses money to punish and deprive its citizens — to kick’em when they’re down.

Since we’re talking about money, I’ll start with the Banks. Overdraft fees are the first thing that comes to my mind when discussing how the Banks take advantage of us when we’re struggling. And it’s become so prevalent in our culture that the Banks now advertise, “No Overdraft Fees” for qualifying accounts. Too bad that the ones that need it probably won’t qualify.

It’s almost as if, extorting its people, has become The American Way.

Take a look at how law enforcement interacts with citizens these days. Most of the time it feels far from Peace Officers here to Protect and Serve. It’s a lot more like, Harass and Extort, are the topics of each morning’s brief.

I’ve noticed while traveling that in many other countries world wide, the Police force actually drives around with their blue lights on at all times. Not here, though I have seen a few cities that do.

While in Mexico my Sweetheart asked me about it. “Why do they always have their lights on?”

I told her that I think it’s so that they can easily be identified, and it blew her mind. “You know, like they’re providing a public service.” She couldn’t even imagine it.

Here they drive unmarked cars and lay in wait, so that they can ambush their prey. Then they’ll most likely toss any rights you may have aside, and say anything they can in order to incriminate and search you. And you are very unlikely to get away without a fine of some sort at the very least.

I’ll use Mexico as an example again here. It’s not that extortion doesn’t live there too. They’re just more open about it.

At least in Mexico when the Federales pull you over, you can go ahead and pay your fine right then. Here, they attach a never-ending list of fees alongside the damned fine. And if you want to dispute it, good luck. You’ll have to take a day off of work and spend it in court. Unless you know somebody of course, but I bet that’s how it works pretty much anywhere. It’s always, “who you know,” right?

And to put it simply, I don’t need to be Policed. And I doubt you do either. I would however love to be able to ask their assistance when needed, without immediately becoming a suspect.

And though I won’t get into it, the pseudo private company I work for isn’t any better. If this 250 year old American staple was a person, they’d be nobody’s friend. And though its slogan has long touted its service to the American People, that seems to be the very last thing that it’s concerned with when it comes down to it. Not the employees, and as sure as hell not the customers. I have been rebuked and threatened for showing compassion towards an elderly customer.

And while all of these complaints might seem rather trivial to some. They’re are many American families that are struggling to cope with this ever present foot on their throat. In this article and the accompanying video interview, my friend gets very emotional about the difficulties he and his family have faced when dealing with the insurance companies.

Chris B. Writes

A Very Special Episode: The Raw Truth Behind Caregiving for My Son Bray Bray…

When my friend Zev asked me to go on his podcast, I had no idea I would get so emotional…

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a month ago · 26 likes · 10 comments · Chris B. Writes

If you’re pushed for time I recommend jumping to the 18 minute mark.

But all may not be lost, yet. Just when I began to question whether or not we as a nation had gone past the point of no return, something happened. It wasn’t remarkable. But it has given that flickering light just a little bit more shine.

Maybe The American Way isn’t always to kick a man while he’s down. Maybe not every company out there is looking to extort its customers. Maybe, there’s hope.

I made a big booboo while we were off on vacation. I forgot to pay the power bill. I thought about it before we left, and I’d checked the side of the refrigerator. There hadn’t been a bill there, which confirmed in my mind that it had been paid.

WRONG. When we returned from our vacation there was a past due notice in the mailbox. 😒 Damnit, I’m thinking. I’ll have to take care of this ASAP.

Then the next day I received my current bill. Which had the new total amount due, including the past due amount and a new due date. At the bottom of the bill it stated that the service cutoff date was July 12th, which was a month away.

So since I’m so smart, I decided that I can just wait and pay the whole bill by its “new” due date on June 27th. I know how it works, and all the extra fees have already been applied. So as long as I bring the account back into good standing by the 27th, I’m good.

WRONG AGAIN. When I got home from work yesterday, June 23rd, it was 94 degrees(F) in the house!

I went over and grabbed the electric bills off of the side of the fridge. And sure enough, the cutoff date is still three weeks away. There had been some pretty rough weather earlier in the day, so I called and reported the outage. Within minutes, Terri, with Irwin EMC, was calling back to see what the issue was. Terri is not her real name, btw.

Now I’m going to pause this story here, in order to give you a little backstory on Irwin EMC. And to put it plainly, I’ve been impressed with this company since we’ve moved to Irwin County. The roads might be shit and the commissioners might be considered crooks by many, but by god the electrical grid is as well taken care of as anywhere I’ve ever lived.

I’ve even written them a thank you letter in the past, praising how they had handled the days and weeks after Hurricane Helene rolled through two years ago this October.

The reason is that Irwin EMC stubbornly refuses to turn their electrical grid over to subcontractors, in order to save a dollar. So while many of my family members that live in neighboring counties were forced to wait weeks for help to arrive. If I remember correctly, Irwin EMC had over 90% of their customers back online within five days. If not that #, it was close. Our home had power just three days after the devastating storm tore through our community.

Okay so back to the story at hand. Was Terri able to help me? Or was the machine too big to notice this minor little tick?

If you’re a free subscriber, you’ll have to wait until next week to find out. Paid Subscribers, The American Way Part Two is in your inbox now.

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Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it and clicking that ❤ button, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Oh and if you’re an email reader, just hit reply — I want to hear from you too! Has The American Way become, kick a man while he’s down?

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Psst — this is the Hank Cotton story I was talking about 🤫

Southern Writers Guild

An Old Mexico Reading Attempt

Well, my attempt to get Cotton and myself on screen at the same time failed miserably. But I think we wound up with a pretty good video after all, thanks to Grace’s superb editing skills…

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a month ago · 4 likes · 1 comment · MJ Polk and Gray

It has always been pleasant to interact with the employees of Irwin EMC. Both the clerks in the office and the workers in the field are generally pretty cordial, if not nice. Which unfortunately, seems to be a rare commodity these days.

So while it was a surprise to hear from Terri why my power had been cutoff; it wasn’t a surprise that she was very helpful, and that our communication throughout the difficult matter was pleasant. Terri listened patiently while I explained my plight.

“Had I known of the approaching cutoff date I’d have made arrangements.” I told her. “The last communication I received from y’all said July 12th.”

She calmly looked over the bills on her end, and explained where the mistake was made. I was welcome to make a payment right away, there would of course be a fifty dollar reconnect fee.

“Of course there is,” I replied. “It’s the American way to kick a man while he’s down.”

“I’m sorry Mr.Polk, I don’t make the rules.”

“No, no. I understand,” I said. “And I’m not disputing the account’s delinquency. I’m saying that I find it disappointing that a customer would have their electricity cut off without notice. I mean, I don’t even know how long my freezers have been off. We’re broke. If we lose what’s in those freezers we’ll starve.” Okay, so I realize that was a tad dramatic. But you know. 😉

“I apologize for this mixup, Mr.Polk, but there’s really very little I can do. I’d be happy to process a payment for you right now, if you like.”

“Darlin, if I had the money in my account I’d have already paid you. All’s I got is cash. Is there any way someone could meet me at the office?”

“I’m sorry but we don’t accept cash after hours.”

“Well, can I pay the guy when he comes to turn it back on?”

“I’m sorry Mr.Polk, but that’s done remotely these days.”

“Oh…”

“Do you have any other form of payment that you can use?”

“Na, this cash I’m holding came out of the emergency funds in my safe. Surely we can work something out. Can’t you just turn it back on for me? I promise I’ll be there first thing in the morning to settle up.” I keep very few monies in digital form. I prefer cash. It’s easier to keep up with when it’s in your pocket, or at home.

“I don’t have that authority. I’d have to call my supervisor.”

“Would you please, Terri? Tell her my plight. And let her know that I’ll be there first thing tomorrow morning to pay the past due amount. And that I’ll take care of the rest of the bill on Tuesday.”

“Yes, but this is highly irregular, Mr.Polk. I can’t make any promises.”

“Thank you for trying, Terri. I really appreciate it.”

So as usual, I was able to sweet talk my way out of the mess I’d gotten myself in. When Terri called back she let me know that this would be a one-time thing. And that if I didn’t pay the past due balance by noon tomorrow, the power would be cut again. And another reconnection fee would then need to be applied, of course.

I thanked Terri for going to bat for me, and assured her that I wouldn’t let her down.

“I’ve learned my lesson, Ms. Terri. Thank you so much!”

She thanked me in return and wished me a good evening. Then as soon as the power was back on I grabbed the itemized list my Sweetheart had sent me by to get in the first place, and headed to my eldest daughter’s house to celebrate a birthday.

It’s a good thing she’d sent me by, I’d intended on going straight to the party after work. Boy am I glad we didn’t get home to a 94 degree(F) house after all that was done!

By the time we did get home it was bedtime, and the house was nice and cool. We both got a shower, and the next thing I knew my six o’clock alarm was trumpeting the next morning.

The very first thing I do every morning is say thank you. And it wasn’t lost on me that I’d been able to sleep so well though then night because of Terri’s help. I am very thankful that we didn’t have to spend the night sweating our asses off, or more probable, in a hotel. So I made damn sure I was at the electric company precisely one hour after they opened.

Why one hour you ask? Because I also work in customer service. And I know that the first hour of the day is pretty demanding. Not only must you wait on customers, but you’re also getting everything settled for the start of the day. Usually things quiet down after about an hour.

As I enter, I’m greeted with a smile by another Terri. And I respond in the same manner. Terri wasn’t her name either, btw. I tell her that I’m here to get my account current, and slide the copy of the bill underneath the bulletproof glass partition.

Terri looks at the bill, types some stuff on her keyboard, and says, “the total amount due will be $325.25, which includes a $50.00 reconnection fee.”

“About that fee,” I replied.

Again I explain to this new Terri, the situation. I’m not disputing the fact that my account was delinquent. What I am disputing is the validity of the disconnection. I slide the current bill underneath the glass, pointing out the July 12th cutoff date that I’d highlighted previously.

Terri studies it, then prints out the bill previous to that one. The missing bill, that was supposed to be on my fridge before we left for vacation, but wasn’t. And she showed me where it clearly stated that the cutoff date for that bill was June 12th. They’d actually already given me an extra 10 days…

I thanked her for explaining everything. And when she gave me the same total again, I asked her if Terri was back in her office. Terri isn’t her name either. But I had looked up the name of the head of accounting for Irwin EMC, and that’s the name I used. I didn’t know Terri, but you wouldn’t have been so sure if you’d been standing across the counter from me when I made the request.

Terri, the clerk, looked at my account to confirm that I wasn’t a habitual violator. Said as much, then went to bat for me.

When she returned she said, “we’re going to waive the reconnect fee this one-time.”

I said, “darlin, I’ve learned my lesson. I sure appreciate it, too.” And that was the truth. This was quite the learning experience.

I learned that I need to be damn sure I get the power bill paid on time. And if there’s a question, look it up. Don’t trust the side of the refrigerator.

I also learned, or rather confirmed once again, that you catch more flies with honey than you do salt.

And, I learned that not every American company is out to exploit its customers.

Maybe there is hope for us yet…

~

Irwin EMC stands for Irwin Electrical Membership Cooperation. As it turns out, I’m not just a customer to them. I’m a member. Maybe we need more, Membership Cooperations, and less corporations?

Unfortunately, it appears as though things are going in the other direction. We are currently seeing many conglomerates expanding their footprints, and very few are looking out for “the people” I’m afraid. It’s all about the bottom line.

I love my country. I am proud to be an American! And even though I am disappointed by many of it’s current trends. I have faith in the many Terri(s) out there. And I hope that together, we can turn The American Way into loving compassion. That every American, regardless of class, has the opportunity to believe in life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

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Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it and clicking that ❤ button, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Oh and if you’re an email reader, just hit reply — I want to hear from you too! Has The American Way become kick a man while he’s down, or is there hope for us yet?

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Don’t like commitments, but still want to support my writing? You can make a one-time contribution here.

Here’s the Stories from the Jukebox essay that I mentioned in the beginning of Part One. This is essentially Part 3 of this series.

Stories from the Jukebox

Change for the World

Calling all Poets, Fiction, & Non-Fiction writers that love music — Share your prose of 1500 words or less, using the prompt, The World.This is my submission to SFTJ Prompt #46 The World, by Charles Bradley. Subscribe now so you don’t miss out of these weekly writing prompts…

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a month ago · 4 likes · 1 comment · MJ Polk

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This week’s newsletter is a follow up to a previous essay. In Admin Galore!, I characterized the growing list of administrative tasks necessary in order to function as a professional writer, as the New Writer’s Block.

And, I called out other writers hoping they’d also publish their opinions on the growing list of Admin.

Okay so here we go. First I’ll explain how I’m dealing with the writer’s block monster, Admin Galore. Then I’ll share some of the ways others are dealing with what they consider Writer’s Block.

#1, I’ve cut back.

That’s right. The first thing I did was cut back on my social media use, including our beloved Substack. I just can’t afford the amount of time that I was spending here. So I’ve had to be more strategic about what time I do spend on this platform, which has drastically reduced the amount of Notes I see. I just ain’t scrolling nearly as much y’all, not sorry.

I’ve began to take advantage of the new Substack scheduling feature, and scheduling my Notes for the week once my posts publish. That keeps me on the feed, and allows me to focus the time I do spend there on notification responses. Because interaction with my friends here remains a top priority.

Limiting my WiFi availability during the day helps me to stay on task.

This has been HUGE for me. I write on Google Docs, so everything I need to actually write is available offline. And turning off the WiFi prevents me from getting side tracked by Admin. Because pretty much all of that kind of stuff does require an internet connection.

Turning off the WiFi allows me three or four hours of uninterrupted writing time each day. It forces me into a corner.

I’ve moved back into my office.

Yeah I know, I know. If you’ve been around a while, you’ve probably heard that before. Well if I’m being completely honest, I’m sitting in my easy-chair in the living room typing this now. I’ve got my feet kicked up and a Corona Light right beside me(Cheers!🍻).

But I have been working in my office much more. I don’t really have a choice.

The Littles won’t let Peapaw work if they can see’em — so I give them a kiss and tell them bye, “Peapaw’s got to go to work.” Then go into my office and shut the door. And it actually works, believe it or not.

And I’ve given myself a little more grace.

I had a weekly writing goal of 10,000 words. Now that may or may not sound like a lot to you. For me, if I’m writing, it’s not a lot. It’s just 2k per day, 5 days a week. And I can write 2k words in a morning session alone. That’s what I meant when I said HUGE earlier — it’s nothing for me to put down a couple thousand words in that 3-4 hours of no WiFi.

But I don’t worry about word counts anymore. That’s become trivial now that I am at different points in so many different projects. So instead of a word count, I just ensure that I do have a writing session every single day.

Some days I put down a few thousand words. Some days, it’s fifty. Writer’s write.

But still, that’s a lot of pressure. Especially when you add publication schedules and deadlines, book promotions, and collaborations. Which brings me back to, I’ve cut back.

Yes, I want to do my part to be a good Literary Citizen, as calls it. That’s why I have the Jukebox and SWG publications. But it’s okay if I don’t read or participate in everything — I should just give what time I do have wholly, and respond and share authentically. Do that, and I am doing my part to be a good Literary Citizen.

Less rules for myself.

For some reason, I’d accumulated all these arbitrary laws for myself. Yeah, sounds silly doesn’t it.

• Don’t mix publication posts.

I’m involved in three Substack publications. And I’d given myself this rule that the Jukebox submissions couldn’t serve as blog posts. Now I’ll admit, that rule was probably needed in the very beginning — just to provide some separation. But I’d took it as law, and even apologized to y’all for cross-posting. Well that’s over, if you haven’t already noticed.

• Post at least three Notes per day.

Right, right, right, all the gurus say this is a must. Well I don’t care, it’s stressful. And I’d even begun worrying about the timing and spacing of the Notes. GTF outta here with that shit. That is sooo overthinking this whole thing, guys. Just share what you want, when you want — algorithm be damned. It ain’t worth it.

Plus as I mentioned before you can schedule Notes now. You can even schedule Restacks and Shares!

• It all counts.

Writing is writing is writing. It doesn’t matter if it’s fiction, or auto-fiction, memoir, a personal essay, a blog post, or an article for a client. I’ve stopped stressing over whats written, when. So what if I’m in a fiction mood for a week or a month? So what if I get all philosophical for a while, or fired up on a subject like Admin for a couple posts? 😉

And I’m not the only one.

Author and friend has also written about what she considers a form of Writer’s Block.

About every three days or three weeks or so, I have this conversation with myself:

What am I doing?

Are all these little bits I’m writing just really distractions my ADHD brain is throwing up so I don’t have to work on the real things? The Big Thing™?

Where hyperfocus, novelty-chasing, and executive dysfunction collide with the messy beauty of making art in real time.

Turtle Meat Mixtapes

ADHD + the Writing Process: An Open Studio

About every three days or three weeks or so, I have this conversation with myself…

Read more

10 months ago · 5 likes · 1 comment · Gray

My favorite Radical Behaviorist, , has also written about her struggles with Admin.

When does the writer put it all together?

Because, beyond writing, off Substack, outside this broader “writing” effort, I do things many of us do: work, care give for people with mental and physical health challenges, and attend to my complex human needs.

And, despite all this other doing, the muse is always there, drawing inspiration, wanting to write. With easy access through her fingertips, there she goes…

Everyday Behaviorist

"writing" has gotten too big to hold

So as not to bury the lead, I’ll get to the point: “writing” on social media includes a lot of behavior that is not writing as well as writing that not all readers see. As a functional response class — responses tied together by similar outcomes — “writing,” as it is now, has gotten too big for me. This post is intended to explain why, show you some of …

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3 months ago · 24 likes · 6 comments · Jennifer Haddock

Everyday Behaviorist

Maybe Writing Was Never "The" Thing

I recently returned from nearly two weeks in France…

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2 months ago · 27 likes · 10 comments

And finally, I’m doing a better job protecting my non-writing time. I am getting back to being done at 7pm. And closing the laptop by 8pm is a non-negotionable.

I’m placing my phone out of reach, too.

As I’ve mentioned in last week’s essay, Boredom vs Burnout, I wasn’t giving my brain a chance to rest. Yes, I was choosing carefully where my attention was placed. But I was still choosing constantly. So I am embracing boredom more and more. And it’s making a big difference.

Have you been feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the Admin that goes into being an author these days? If so, I hope you’ll find some of these tips useful.

Happy Writing! -MJ

Note to my nonwriter-readers,

How does the idea of Writer’s Block translate into your life? What keeps you from spending as much time as you’d like on ‘your art or passion’? I would love to hear from you in the comments or via email!

Leave a comment

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Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it and clicking that ❤ button, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Oh and if you’re an email reader, just hit reply — I want to hear from you too! What keeps you from spending as much time as you’d like on ‘your art or passion’?

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I didn’t realize just how tightly I was wound…

Y’all, it took me three days of vacation before I was able to relax. THREE DAYS! And I’m not exaggerating the slightest bit. We arrived on Sunday — at some point on Tuesday I finally took a breath, and I noticed on Wednesday evening that I’d let it go. It’s not like anything special happened to trigger it, and that’s probably the whole point.

I wasn’t just burnt out — my throttle was stuck, wide open.

I’ve been standing on this hill for a bit. I’ve known for some time that something was off. But I’d struggled to name it. “Admin Galore!”, I’d said. But it’s not just that…

I’ve also noticed that I was beginning to have a harder and harder time with my meditation practice in the mornings. I’d cut it out, or skipped it as much as I’d attempted to practice lately. And I think that it’s because I wasn’t capable of slowing down, of releasing the tension.

I’d lost the Pause Button. Not entirely, but I wasn’t applying it to the big picture.

I was wound too tight, coiled up like a slinky at the bottom of the staircase. And I’d become unable to see it because I never took a chance to look. I was swimming so furiously that I didn’t realize I was actually drowning.

It wasn’t until I got bored that I was able to release the breath I’d been holding for, I don’t know how long — months, years maybe?

So I stayed bored for the rest of the vacation, and it was marvelous. I didn’t allow myself to do anything. That’s right. No phone. No books. No writing, not even in my journal. I didn’t read in the mornings either. It was just me and my Sweetheart for the next four days. Nothing else.

And it was really hard at first. Every time I’d get bored, I’d catch myself wanting to reach for the phone or open the laptop. But I held firm, and soon those cravings lessened.

I used the phone as sparingly as possible. It was just a tool. I used it to book an Uber and buy event tickets, or to check the weather as we planned our day. Then I would place it back out of reach.

I even attempted to drive around without the map open. Which is probably the reason we ended up at The Black Crowes concert on Tuesday night. Would I have noticed the sign at the Amphitheater entrance saying, “The Black Crowes Tonight,” if I’d been following the onscreen map instead of watching for the next turn?

Easter continues by explaining that digital media isn’t the problem. Nor is the problem that we are wired to avoid boredom. But it’s that we actually need boredom at times.

Boredom is what Easter calls, “an evolutionary discomfort.” It tells us that whatever we’re doing with our time isn’t paying off.

Until recently, boredom triggered us to be more productive. Even if it was just casting a line or watching a sunset. But today, digital media has made boredom virtually nonexistent. It’s always there waiting. Why sit in boredom, when you can just scroll through the day?

The problem is, we actually need boredom at times. Now I’m no nueroscientist, but even I know that the brain really only has two modes of attention: It’s either focused, or it’s unfocused. And if it’s focused, it’s on. It’s working. And that can be anything that requires our focused attention, including tv, podcasts, social media, and yes, even reading.

Sure, I was choosing carefully where I placed my attention. But I was still choosing constantly, which had virtually kept my brain in “work mode” constantly as well. That’s why it took three days for the light to dim even after I’d turned the switch off.

As it turns out, I’d been staring straight into the sun unaware that I’d become blinded by it. The mind needs rest. And not just at night, but throughout the day as well.

There’s a cost to killing time while connected to digital media. It keeps our attention focused, so our brains stay in work mode. And to say that this new modern world is overstimulating, would be putting it mildly. This collective over stimulation is extremely unhealthy, too. We all know that stress kills. But it also robs you of the ability to see the true beauty of life. And that beauty can’t be seen through a screen.

I’d become increasingly agitated of late. I knew I needed a break, and I’m glad I took it. As Dr. Bob would say, “I went to Earth School today.” And boy, did I learn a lot. Now the task is to try not to forget what I learned before I can replace those old habits with new ones.

I’ve already noticed myself attempting to slide right back into the familiar pattern of picking up the phone, or opening the laptop even though I do not have a task to complete.

It’s tough to embrace boredom. It goes against everything we’re made of. So I’m working to fill my time with other things, which I’ll discuss more in my upcoming essay, Admin Galore! 2.0 Overcoming Writer’s Block. Because for me, writing is life.

But in the meanwhile, I’m keeping my phone out of reach and my laptop out of sight. Since my work is completed via digital media, I need to be much more cognizant of how I spend my non–working hours.

Does that mean that you’ll continue to see less of me? Possibly. But the time that you will receive from me in the future, will be of much more value. I’ll figure this out, little by little. And once I get my feet back under me and find my balance, I’ll be capable of a bit more. Then hopefully I can remain aware of the cost, and adjust accordingly.

Come on, let’s get bored together!

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It’s wild, I know. And I imagine it was quite the surprise when truckers or travelers would see me doing yoga at a rest or truck stop. On top of that, I often would need to get up on the flatbed of the truck since the ground would be wet or nasty. Could you imagine seeing my country ass, in a Warrior Two pose on the back of Ole Dually Girl?🤸🤭 That’s when I coined the term, Redneck Yoga.

I should begin by saying that I am in no way shape or form a Yoga instructor. If you want real instructions I recommend going to your local Yoga or exercise studio, or find a reputable source online.

Here’s Yoga With Adriene. She’s been my teacher since I stopped attending classes. And while I’ll often practice without instruction, I will follow along with many of her workouts. She has them organized by length, instruction level, and muscle groups. For instance, if you want a 20 minute routine for beginners that’s focused on neck, shoulders, and upper back, she’s your gal!

I’m sharing this with you for the same reason as I do my writing, because yoga has changed my life for the better. And my journey here started much like my writing journey did as well, with an off-hand comment to a friend.

Here’s a bit of history before we begin:

I’ve been practicing yoga for about 15 years now. It began during the short time I’d held a membership at one of the local gyms. I’d acquired the membership as part of trade in advertising and services with the business owner. In exchange for a member discount in my retail sporting goods store, my self and the staff enjoyed free gym memberships.

I’d never “worked out” before. I played golf in high school, and back then golfers did not go to the gym. This was before Tiger Woods showed us all that being in peak physical form was key. My favorite golfer in those days was John Daily. 🍻 Cheers!

So anyway, I’ve evidently got a torn and healed ACL in my left knee. It’s a tiny little tear that I didn’t even know about for decades, most likely from a skiing fall in my early teens. And it still gives me trouble to this day. But 15 years ago it was much worse. It’d plagued me for years. I lived in a knee brace at the time and was in constant pain. Finally fed up with it, I discussed surgery with an orthopedic surgeon friend on the golf course one day. But instead of recommending surgery, he showed me a couple of simple stretches that I could do anytime of day. As it turns out it wasn’t the ACL tear that was the problem — well, it could be the underlying problem — it was the IT band attaching the knee to the hip. The stretches immediately helped. And within six months I had graduated from the two simple standing stretches, to attending yoga class at the gym three days per week.

I was the only guy there, too. The class was filled with young mothers and retirees. But I didn’t care in the slightest because yoga literally cured me. I’ll take my yoga mat over a set of weights or a machine any day.

I found Yoga With Adrienne on YouTube after I’d runoft. And along with what I’d learned in those first couple years of classes, it has served me well. I love to sit in on a class any chance I get while traveling. But I have been practicing at home for over a decade now. And it’s become integral to both my physical and mental health. I try to practice a minimum of 15 minutes every morning. And if I skip a day or two, I’ll typically pay for it later.

The yoga routine shown in this recorded video is my base routine. My focus is on the core, specifically my lower back and hips because that is where I hurt. And by managing my aliment with these exercises, I have been able to avoid the prolonged use of medication. I will not go into the role that said pain has played in my addiction to narcotics, but you all can imagine I’m sure. I do still need to take over the counter meds occasionally rarely.

I’ll often add poses or switch it up a little, and at least once per week I’ll do a 45 - 60 minute full body routine. But I hardly ever stray from this basic group of exercises. They provide my foundation.

This, is Redneck Yoga.🤠🤙

• I’ll begin in a seated position. And I like to have my hips slightly raised, so I use a folded up towel to sit on(though I don’t have one in this video). This also helps to add cushion while practicing on ones knees.

• The first pose is a variation of the Caterpillar or seated Forward Fold. Only, I alternate left and right legs. This is a great stretch for the spine, stomach, kidneys, and sciatic nerve track. I’ll start with one set of six breaths, and follow that with two or three more sets of twelve breaths. Then I finish with a full Caterpillar fold.

It’s important to note here that one should never feel pain while attempting these exercises. If it hurts, stop immediately. And the breath is super important. Take slow deep breaths — really sink into the breath — allow it to dictate your pace. Notice how on that first bend of six breaths, I’m barely bending at all. Take it easy in the beginning. You can always go deeper or harder later on.

• I’ll then sit with my legs criss-cross-applesauce and do two slight twists before I transition into the Tabletop position. From there I’ll do a few rounds of Cat-Cow. Cow on the breath in, and Cat on the release. Six to twelve breaths. Feel free to move around a little within this exercise. We’re still warming up right now, so use it to your advantage. Maybe bump the hips left or right, or roll the head and neck.

• From there I’ll plant my palms and feet shoulder width apart, and raise my hips into Downward Dog. This is my transition position. I use Downward Dog to begin and end almost every other exercise. The trick here is to keep your knees slightly bent. And I like to petal the feet. I’ll usually stay here for twelve breaths the first and last time, and six breaths when in transition to another pose.

• Next I’ll walk or hop up to the top of the mat into the Forward Fold position. This is followed by my version of a Sun Salutation.

  Forward Fold then Halfway Lift for a breath cycle, back down into Forward Fold. Then roll up into Mountain Pose, and back down into Forward Fold.

  Once back down I’ll Halfway Lift again, before I plant the palms and hop the feet back into Plank position. I’ll hold that for one breath, then do four Push-ups before I lower into Baby or Full Cobra.

  From there I’ll lift back into Plank, then Downward Dog, before I walk or hop forward and repeat the Sun Salutation twice more.

Remember, all movements follow the breath. These exercises are slow and methodical, with full breaths in and out. Our focus should remain on the breath and the quality of the movements at all times.

Okay, so now I’m hot. I’ve broken a sweat, the heart is beating faster and it really feels like I’m putting in the work.

• I stay in Downward Dog as I finish my third Sun Salutation. And sometimes I’ll drop into a Child’s Pose or Extended Child’s pose to rest for six breaths or so. Back in Downward Dog I’ll drop one heal to the ground, and raise the other leg up high behind me, then pull it forward towards the same elbow on that side three times before landing the leg forward into a Lunge. I’ll then raise my arms in a big sweeping motion as I transition into Warrior Two for twelve breaths.

• From there I’ll move into a Reverse Warrior, followed by a Triangle pose and then lower into a Half Moon. And from there I’ll make my way into a Reverse Half Moon down on the mat. Then I’m back into Downward Dog before I repeat on the sequence on the right side.

This is usually where I’ll change the sequence up daily. I might add a Warrior One to the mix, or do some Lunges. Maybe work in a Chair or Pigeon pose too. The possibilities are endless.

• After that I’ll make my way back to a seated position, maybe throw in another Caterpillar before I lay down onto my back.

• In the video I do a Bridge pose, then go straight into nine Leg Raises and a dozen Bicycle Kicks. But I’ll usually work in a Happy Baby, Water Fall or Supine Spinal Twist here.

• I’ll finish the exercise in Corpse pose. And follow that with a 15 minute meditation.

• After I finish the meditation practice I’ll sit up and repeat the first two exercises, going deeper into the Caterpillar and seated Spinal Twist. As a finale, I’ll offer a prayer of thanks. Namaste 🙏

There you have it, Redneck Yoga.

Again, I’m not professional. And if you watch some of the video, you’ll no doubt see that I am an amateur. The purpose of this post is to show that you don’t have to be a certain sex, age, or dexterity to practice yoga. If my country ass can do it, so can you. Exercise doesn’t have to be weights or machines. And it doesn’t have to be complicated. Join a class locally, check out Adriene or one of the many licensed teachers online.

A twenty minute yoga routine paired with a twenty minute walk a couple times a week, will make a huge difference in your health. And if you’ve been thinking about trying some sort of exercise, I hope you’ll give it a shot.

Have a great life! -MJ

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Here’s one from the archive!

I think it’s time I introduced myself properly: I’m , The Southern Copywriter. 🤠🤙

This is my blog. The Southern Copywriter blog serves as my catch-all — it’s the home of my personal creative journey. Any y’all are invited to come along for the ride!🚀

I write and publish a pretty eclectic mix of prose here on my blog. There’s lots of Fiction, and even more Personal Essays. You’ll even find some proper articles, if you dive deep enough. I consider myself a student of philosophy, so my essays will often have an underlying theme inspired by my attempt to work through difficulties using insights from the greatest thinkers of all time. This blog is my Light✨.

I will use this platform to be a Light of Positivity✨

“We all are part of the human community and have the responsibility to benefit that community. We should take a more active role in helping society by employing whatever talents and abilities we possess to help others. For if the human community is happy and at peace, we all benefit.” -Bhiksu Tenzin Gyatso

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Oh and The Southern Copywriter blog isn’t my only publication or website. I’m also involved with two community publications.

• At Stories from the Jukebox, each week myself and the Jukebox Writing Group tackle a writing prompt inspired by one of the greatest songs of all time! Are you a writer looking for rock’n write’n prompt? Join us. Musical and Visual artists are invited too!

• The Southern Writers Guild is a place where the South comes alive! SWG was founded by myself, and two amazing writers, & . And it’s a deliberate assembly of stubborn scribes, poets, novelists, essayists, playwrights, and songwriters — who stake our claim on the American South. Are you interested in joining the SWG? Subscribe today, invites and submission info will be forthcoming. Oh yeah, it’s also the home of my pseudonym, Hank Cotton.

I’ve published my first book!

The Ugly Duckling, by Hank Cotton, is available for purchase on Amazon Now!

Hank Cotton, a Hotshot Truck Driver, doesn’t know that he’s picked up an unlikely passenger.

In this, his debut story—our hero Hank Cotton, is tasked with getting not only a travel trailer from Indiana to Florida; but also Jenny Deal, a thirteen year old runaway that’s been kidnapped and forced to perform as a sex worker.

Will Hank be able to out run her pimp, and out smart the crooked Alabama lawmen looking to stop him?

Find out how Jenny got in this mess—whether Brooke, Hank’s wife will understand why he’s got an underage sex worker with him, and whether Hank is able to get his cargo delivered safely in this novelette length story titled, The Ugly Duckling.

Purchase Book

Read & Listen on Substack!

Wow, I’ve been busy haven’t I? I guess it’s hard to see our accomplishments when we’re in the midst of them. Now that I look back at all that, I must say it’s pretty impressive. All of this started, because I wanted to be an example to my daughters — to show them that it’s okay to pursue your dreams. And I certainly don’t think anyone can say I’m not living the example.

Since this an introduction, I’m going to briefly work my way present from the time before — when life got turned upsidedown. You see, this is Part Two of the story of MJ Polk. The man who types this today, is not the man of just one decade ago. Back in 2018, everything I thought I knew about the world changed.

The time before is how I refer to what now seems almost a fictional existence. I was living the life many people dream of. I was a successful business owner, tied to an up and coming family name. My Sweetheart and I were members of the most prestigious clubs, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you what my monthly charge account bill ran at the Country Club. But all of that was a sham. What appeared to be a successful lifestyle from the outside, was crumbling from within. Ignorance and misplaced priorities, combined with an ample supply to drugs and money, proved to be a deadly combination.

With a marriage and a business failing and a faith that couldn’t stand up to the test, I turned to death. Only, I couldn’t do it. And I still don’t know if my running away to Mexico to die was the truth, or if I was running towards some sort of new life. Either way, it was that journey that saved me. There was a point, when the mission changed. It became a mission of survival, not of me seeking a way out.

Eventually I learned that my marriage wasn’t over, my Sweetheart still loved me. She never gave up on me. Somehow she was able to find me. And when she did, she never let go of me again. She came to Mexico and brought me back home.

But something happened to me on that trip that changed the trajectory of not only my life, but of everyone one of yours too. I discovered literature.

A simple statement to an expat friend, “Dude, I can’t read,” prompted him to call that nonsense — then gift me his copy of Ernest Hemingway’s The Sun Also Rises. And boy was he right! I devoured the book. Tried to give it back to him two days later, but he wouldn’t take it back. I still have it, and it’s one of my most treasures possessions.

I’d also started journaling, though I didn’t really think about it like that. I was just writing down my thoughts. And I’ve just realized that this is also the first time I’d ever considered, Self, as someone I wanted to be friends with. Something I’m still learning to do.

That first journal? It’s the foundation for the character Hank Cotton. And it’s the basis of his novel, which I expect will be done in 2028. And maybe released in 2030? But I’m getting ahead of myself.

When my Sweetheart got me back to the USA, I didn’t plan on staying. I’d started driving professionally, and we were going to spend the off-season in Mexico. All the money is made in the Spring, Summer, and Fall. So we were going to spend Winter in my new favorite country. We actually kept an apartment in Puerto Escondido, Oaxaca, until Covid forced us to let it go.

And for the next few years, that’s how I spent my time. Traveling around the USA and Canada as a Hotshot Trucker. All the while I was reading everything I could get my hands on. I especially love the classic American writers like Hemingway, Kerouac, and Thompson. And I was writing too! I’d somehow managed to stumble headfirst into my passion, my calling. Writing quickly became all I wanted to do.

This is when, unbeknown to her, my middle child prompted me to go after my dream of being a published author. She was twenty-one, and back at home trying to figure out her next step in life. And I was trying to convince her to forget about norms, and follow her heart. But I realized, that I was not doing the very thing that I was telling her to do. So I took the first step towards realizing my dream as a published author, and enrolled in the closest university program that offered a Creative Writing curriculum.

The time since then has been a whirlwind of steps and accomplishments. From graduating Valdosta State University with a Certificate in Creative Writing, to publishing my first novelette, along with hundreds of other stories, essays, and articles. I’ve quit driving over the road, in favor of a local part time job that allows me to focus more on my writing career. I introduce myself now as a Writer.

I am, , author and Copywriter. It’s a pleasure to meet you. 🙏 Welcome to my blog. Happy Reading! 🤠🤙

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I’ll continue to let my Creative Writing speak for me. It clearly shows what I am capable of. And if I can be of service to you in anyway, please don’t hesitate to message me.

My Editing Services include:

• Substack Consultant Services

• Proofreading

• Copy-editing

• Developmental-editing

• Newspaper to Substack Editing & Consultant Services

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Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it and clicking that ❤ button, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Oh and if you’re an email reader, just hit reply — I want to hear from you too!

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Whoo hoo! After almost a year of saving up my paid leave at my “day job” — if you’re new here, checkout this article for some backstory — it’s almost vacation time! 🥳🎉

But there’s a problem…

I’m not going to PEI anymore this summer. The trip’s canceled.

And I’d be lying if I said that this wasn’t very difficult for me, I was really looking forward to this trip. As a matter of fact, I’ve been looking forward to it for years. And I’ve working on the details of the trip, for this past year — twenty one days backpacking the most beautiful island Canada has to offer, maybe even North America.

But alas, I must admit to myself that it’s not going to happen. Not this year at least.

And y’all, I am so bummed about it. This was my swan song! The last chance I had to get off alone, before the next decade of Florida Beach Condos with the Littles.

Yeah I know right, I sound like a pretty crappy Peapaw there don’t I? But damnit, what about what I want to do? Is it wrong for me to still want to go trapping around the world, exploring new places?

And as much as I want the answer to that question to be, no. I feel more and more guilty about doing it. And we’re not under any financial strain. But I really can’t afford to spend a month on sabbatical in Nova Scotia, even if I have saved up my paid leave. I mean, it ain’t like that’s “extra money” or anything. You know, I’ve never actually understood the concept of “extra money” at all, now that I think about it…

So then I was thinking about visiting my friend in Albania! He’s going to be there for a while yet, and I’ve checked and the flights are reasonable enough. I even worked out a 36 hour layover in Amsterdam. How epic would that be?

But then I’m looking around at all the things left undone around the house. And I remember that I still haven’t gotten my Sweetheart’s Jeep ready for summer — amongst so many other things. And the prospect of leaving all that unfinished feels selfish. Not to mention, the USA is currently at war. Not the ideal conditions for international travel, that’s for sure…

The thing is, I’ve always pretty much gotten whatever I wanted. Now, not always of course. But I mean like, things usually work out for me. Like when I wanted to go to Banff, Jasper, & Alaska.

Or more recently, purchasing my Chevy Custom Deluxe. I’ve still got Ole Dually Girl, too. Yeah I know, I was supposed to sell her… Again, I can make this happen — which is part of, if not the whole damn problem. (pay attention to the theme here, it's visited again below)

Then there’s the fact that my Sweetheart doesn’t share in the same wanderlust. Where I would be perfectly content with owning nothing more than a bus ticket and a toothbrush, she needs a home.

So I must ask myself: What’s more important to me?

The answer of course is her — is them. They are what’s most important to me. So I guess that means I have to lay my wanderlust aside. For now.

But I am not happy about it.

And yet I wonder, would I even want to be trapping around the world if I’m alone? I mean, I get to see Tink and Binkster both, pretty much on a daily basis. And I love it!

But then, I love to travel too. And my feet are getting awfully itchy. Our last little adventure up into Kentucky has just about worn off.

Hmmm. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen Key West yet either. 🤔 I wonder if I can talk my Sweetheart into a A1A road trip?

Maybe if I get the Jeep fixed up, along with a few other things around here she’ll go for it. And if we happen to find the right place along the way, the kids could even come down for a few days… 😉

To be continued…

On Again / Off Again — Vacation’s begun, and I still don’t know what I’m doing.

Well, the last time we talked I was sulking because I couldn’t go to PEI — a trip I’d planned over a year for.

Albania either. Sorry, Rick.

But, I’d had another great idea — Key West, via the scenic A1A Highway.

At first glance, this was waaay out of our budget. But then I caught a huge break! My Sweetheart and I are avid campers. Or, we used to be. More recently our camping excursions have been as a Paid Transporter/Hotshot. So I checked the Florida State Parks website, and we were in luck! The Bahia Honda State Park sits just three isles from Key West.

I searched a couple reservation windows, nothing. Then, as if a miracle had just happened right before my eyes, I refreshed the page and two nights appeared! I snatched’em up quick too. Zero hesitation. Two nights, for less than $100? That’s a win right there, buddy. Yessir.

Then I searched along the route down and found us an Airbnb in Lake Worth Beach, just above Miami, for the two nights right before our Bahia Honda camping stay. And I think we’ll play the rest by ear. Maybe leave a couple days before that, stop in St. Augustine or Daytona Beach as we meander our way down the scenic A1A highway. And we’ll do the same on the way back up. 😉 The plan is to take about 8 to 10 days to make the trip. How’s that for adventure!?

Looks like I’ve gone from a trip to the extreme north end of the Eastern Coast, to the extreme southern end of the coast. I think Key West is less than a hundred miles from Cuba… This trip should make for some great articles, maybe I’ll do a travel vlog!?

Stories from the Jukebox

A Lifetime of Adventure

This is my submission to this week’s SFTJ song prompt, Adventure Of A Lifetime, by Cold Play. Subscribe now so you don’t miss out on these weekly writing prompts…

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3 months ago · 9 likes · 4 comments · MJ Polk

Hold up — not so fast, MJ.

But before I get into the next development, let me fill you in on what’s been going on with me recently. I don’t know how long you’ve been with me — if you’re a long time reader you have probably seen the subtle, but non-mistakeable difference in my essays and articles recently. To say it plainly, I’ve been feeling the pressure a bit lately.

All of this has just gotten so, BIG. And much of the peace I’ve obtained over the past few years is because I’ve stayed small.

In the past two years I’ve gone from zero social media presence in my life, to having accounts on four different platforms. And on this one alone, I’ve amassed over 1k followers and hundreds of subscribers in that short time. Not to mention that I write under a pseudonym at times as well. That’s a lot of pressure. And with it, comes a lot of Admin. I’ll go deeper into these challenges, and what I’m doing about it in an update post to Admin Galore — Struggling with Writer’s Block, soon.

Okay, so back to our A1A adventure! We’re not doing that either. Yup you read that right, I’ve canceled that trip as well. There are a myriad of reasons:

• The temperature during our stay at Bahia Honda State Park is going to be a perfectly warm 87 degrees(F) during the day. Not too hot, but sunny. Really just right for beach’n🏖️. But the the temperature is only going to drop to 83 at night, and that doesn’t sound nearly as pleasant. Mind you, we’d be camping primitively. 🥵No AC. No Fan. No Relief.

• My Sweetheart’s Jeep will not be ready. And even if it is “fixed” it’d be awfully hard to trust it for a 1500 mile trip.

• No Jeep — problem! Blanca stepped right up. All she had to do was hear the words, Miami and Caribbean, and she was ready. “!La vida es un carnival!” But then something happened, I had a bad dream. A nightmare really — I dreamed Blanca was stolen outside of our Airbnb, in Lake Worth Beach. Now I’ve actually written a story where Blanca was trucknapped, where I was able to save her with the help of my two compadres. But I do NOT want to have to deal with that in real life. Nope.

Which brings me to my point: This vacation was supposed to be a stress relief. But has ended up being layer upon layer of additional stresses and things to do or worry about.

I’d need to ensure Blanca was ready for such a trip. We’d need to get our old eight-person tent out, and inspect it to make sure it’s good to go. Additional camping supplies would need to be procured as well. Then add the facts Blanca’d been trucknapped by Cubans, to the very real possibility that we would in fact have heat-stroke, to the open-ended adventure of “meandering down A1A”, and you wind up with another canceled trip. 🙃

~

Alright so here I am. It’s the Sunday before my paid leave begins, and I’ve just canceled another trip. First, PEI. Then, Albania. And finally, a Key West via A1A roadtrip.

I do not know what to do next. So I ask my Sweetheart where she’d like to spend our holiday?

We look at the north Georgia mountains, but rule that out in favor of a beach. Any beach, anywhere would do at this point. We searched along the South Carolina and Georgia coasts, nothing really grabbed us. We looked all across the Florida panhandle too, and almost decided on Flora-Bama. But in the end, none of those places sounded like the peaceful beach retreat we were looking for.

I knew what I wanted — what I needed now. I was searching for a home away from home. So I’m not surprised that we ended up going to St. Augustine, Florida, the oldest city in the US. It’s the place we carried our girls too, almost every summer for over a decade. And soon, we’ll take our grandchildren there. Just not this year. 😉

Buy us a beer 🍻 Cheers!

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it and clicking that ❤ button, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Oh and if you’re an email reader, just hit reply — I want to hear from you too! What’s your idea of a relaxing holiday?

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Here’s a shortcut to last week’s blog post, just in case you missed it.

Note: I intended on paywalling this essay, IF, it was ever shared. As a matter of fact, the first section leading up to the title break was a journal entry. It was just me, trying to make sense of the situation — attempting to work it out through writing.

But after letting all of this sit for a few weeks, I’ve decided that I should share it with others. This blog is my Light, and I’ll continue to use it as a vessel of loving kindness. My hope is that this essay helps someone else who may have a similar situation weighing on them. Just as my friend Jennifer was able to help me.

Just in case you’re new here: I’m known as Peapaw by those closest to me. My Sweetheart is Lovie. And our grandchildren are Bink & Tink.

I have been upset for days — a complete wreck. Okay maybe that’s being slightly dramatic, but it’s been tough.

I popped Bink yesterday, and it’s broken both of our hearts.

He’s such a sweet little guy. But he gets jealous of Tink, and yesterday he hit her. So I hit him back, just the same way. And it crushed him.

You see the thing is, Bink and I are tight. I mean tight-tight. I was not this close to my girls. I was busy working, busy being the provider. Their Mama was the one who handled all of this stuff. I just had to be the Dad. I did what was asked of me, coached their teams, and that was pretty much it.

But being a Peapaw is different. I’m able to spend a lot more time with these Littles, than I did with their Mamas. And for an entire year, his first year of life, it was just the Binkster.

But in that year, things have changed a bit. And now that we have the blessing of a relationship with my eldest daughter, we’ve gained a Son and a Granddaughter too!

The little guy loves his cousin. He and Tink play and play. They ask about each other. They love on each other first, when they arrive. But they both, he in particular, get mighty jealous at times. And Bink has graduated from pushing, to hitting. Especially once he’s tired or irritated.

I’ve tried to let the Mamas handle the discipline, but the kids listen to me when I speak. So yesterday I took action.

Tink was in my lap, and we were reading a book. Bink was toddling around in between me and Lovie, half reading along, half whining a little bit because he was sleepy. He looked up at the two of us, and hit Tink on the forehead. So I popped him on his little forehead. A reaction I immediately, and still do regret.

It destroyed my little partner. He just stood there — devastated — tears streaming down his face, completely heartbroken.

Though it was difficult, I finished reading the book to Tink. Which I think hurt his feelings even more. His Lovie had picked him up by now, but could do little to sooth him. And when I went to grab for him, he actually pulled away from me. Which he’s never done before.1

I walked around and soothed him — sat him down on the counter in the kitchen after he’d quieted. But then he thought about it again and got upset again. So we went into the bedroom for a change of scenery.

And I don’t know if any of that was right. It could have all been the wrong thing to do. And then I had to go to work. So Lovie took over.

When I got off of work Tink had already been picked up, and he was asleep. We took him to town to meet his Mama. He was only awake for about 5 minutes, and I’m not sure if I’ll get to see him today.

Tomorrow we’re moving Tink’s crew back home, a long answered prayer. And then it’ll be the two of them always. Which is a dream come true! And here I am upset about the whole thing for some reason.

Grandparenting Is Hard Too.

Update, one week later: Frustrated, and reeling still. I called the only person that I thought may be able to help — my behavior analyst friend, . Ever the professional she advised me that while she couldn’t give specific advice, she did have some tools that she thought could help us find a better path.

I spoke with Jennifer at the end of last week. And after listening to my plight, she had some great ideas! Which we’ve already started implementing.

First of all, she was able to present the behavior in a way that allowed me to give myself a little bit of grace — some self-forgiveness. My hitting him in response to him hitting his cousin was a gut reaction. I was trying to get his attention 💡 OMG. Just like the Binkster is doing!

• When your attention is diverted, understand that hitting is a motivating operation for doing things that will get the attention back — whatever has worked before.

• Prevent it by practicing other ways to communicate and obtain attention.

• Roll play — prevent by teaching delay tolerance. (short periods of diverted attention, return attention before he escalates)

I also noticed something over the weekend: Bink has been asking me about Tink constantly — and almost immediately, every time we see each other.

Y’all I think that I have been stressing her to him so much, that he thinks that she is all I want to talk about. So I have begun giving him my full attention when it’s just us. When he mentions Tink I answer him, then clarify that she’s not here. She’s at her house. And I reiterate that’s he’s here and I’m playing with him right now.

And while we haven’t yet had a chance to try all of Jennifer’s ideas, we’re also ensuring that someone is always on duty. Not as a referee, but as a coach. I think that has made a big difference in a short time.

Most importantly, all of us adults are on the same page. We now realize that Bink and Tink both are learning how to process these emotions. And that it’s up to us to teach them the proper behavior, in order to do so.

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Update, another week later: Bink is doing amazing! He has really taken to sharing. And as long we don’t put the two of them in a position where they are in a competition for attention, there are zero issues.

We are all learning how to recognize the signs, and doing a better job of redirecting the behavior. And, we are praising them for waiting their turn and sharing. Which seems to be a great motivator.

Bink has begun using our names to get our attention. And is doing a much better job sharing with Tink. And she’s just two months behind him — monkey see, monkey do. Now I’m not saying we’re completely out of the woods, yet. But we can certainly see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Bink loves his cousin. And looking back in retrospect, I think that’s part of the thing that tore me up. I saw him glare at her, with a wrinkled brow a few times weeks ago. He was beginning to develop a dislike for Tink. But by being shown a better way, those negative thoughts instantly disappeared. And were replaced with more loving kindness.

I cannot thank my friend enough for the compassionate ear, clarification, and ideas. Jennifer, you truly saved the day! 🙏 Thank you

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Y’all I’m drowning in tasks. I’m supposed to be editing the audio recording of The Ugly Duckling right now. Well that or editing one of the two Lives done on Stories from the Jukebox this week.

This is in addition of course, to all the regular daily things that need my attention. And I’m struggling under the weight of it all.

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Hank Cotton has been interviewed a few times, but this was the first time anyone asked ME. And I am truly grateful🙏 Here’s her post on Short Stories & Tales. Harriet does such a wonderful job highlighting many great authors!

Short Stories and Tales

Short Stories and Tales Live with MJ Polk

Thank you everyone who joined us today for this chat with MJ Polk…

Listen now

3 months ago · 9 likes · Harriet Corvine and MJ Polk

Now, for the rest of the fun! I had such a wonderful time visiting with Harriet, we could’ve gone on for hours! She asked some great questions, and I’ll be using clips from that interview for a long time to come. But that wasn’t my first Live of the week. Below is my Ad for the Jukebox song prompt this week.

I didn’t expect to have my little partner with me — too bad Substack cut it from the Video🙄. So, I deleted it instead of publishing it. That’ll show’em!

Now this next one is an interview with Colin Gillman, aka- . If you’ve been with me for a while, you’ll remember Colin from Sending the Sun, which was published back in Febuary.

Well, he and I have become fast friends. I’m a huge fan of his music and his writing, and am so stoked that he decided to use an original song for this week’s song prompt. His Headliner submission — a memoir story behind the songs origin — was absolutely amazing! Below is my interview with Colin, we talk about the song, the story, a vacation in Spain, and how Spanish Elvis inspired Colin’s next chapter of life. Amongst other things… 🤭

Stories from the Jukebox

SFTJ - Elvis Night at Andy's LIVE

“Elvis Night at Andy’s” is track #6 on Chip Martini’s debut album, No Band Required. Written, produced, and performed by Good Boy Records…

Listen now

3 months ago · 4 likes · MJ Polk and Good Boy Records

Speaking of other things…

“I may have gone on a bit,” he said.

Now, for newer readers, it is important to understand that the phrase “gone on a bit” has a very specific meaning inside Good Boy Records. It does not mean “slightly over-excited.” Nor does it imply “mild over-explanation.”

Y’all I’m not kidding when I say that The Polk Incident is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. I had to stop reading five or six times to wipe my eyes and blow my nose!😭 I literally almost 💀from laughter! Maybe Colin got a little long winded, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as he’s made it out to be. I know I do the same thing when someone asks me about my art. So keep it coming Colin, next time I’ll forgo the time limit!😉

Oh yeah, did y’all notice the name of the title of that piece? 😁 World Famous.

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Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it and clicking that ❤ button, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Oh and if you’re an email reader, just hit reply — I want to hear from you too!

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Wanna know what I’m reading?👇

Here are all the stories mentioned in my interview!

Southern Writers Guild

Right Place Wrong Time

You’re in the Right Place, and it’s the Wrong Time to skip-out on Subscribing. Gone ahead…

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7 months ago · 12 likes · 2 comments · MJ Polk

Southern Writers Guild

Wyoming

This is just a taste of a bigger story I’m working on called, Try Your Luck In Reno. I’m warning y’all aheada time too — it’s pretty explicit. So there’s that.Gone ahead — if ya don’t, you’ll regret it later…

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7 months ago · 7 likes · MJ Polk

Southern Writers Guild

The Little Shops That Were

So I was sitting on the Porch, doing what boomers do, talking about how great the past was. I was talking about that time the gator charged into the convenience store in Cape Coral. Which led to Grace talking about roadside peanuts and peach ice cream. Which led to Hank reminiscing about the bootleggers behind the Quality Inn. So we decided to each writ…

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5 months ago · 15 likes · 5 comments · MJ Polk, primalbeet, and Gray

Southern Writers Guild

Three Stories & A Wager

“Na, no way, Grace,” MJ said, almost choking on his sweet tea. “Not On Purpose is good—real good—but the best of those first stories we uploaded is definitely, Gracelets…

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3 months ago · 7 likes · Gray, MJ Polk, and primalbeet

Since I’ve decided to uncuff myself and can now share my SFTJ prompt submissions with you — I’ve let Cotton put together a batch of his Jukebox Favs! Here’s a mix of 10 personal essays and short stories.

I’mma give you a little introduction to each of the pieces below:

• These first two posts are about my Sweetheart💚. So you’ll wanna skip them if you ain’t into the lovie-dovie stuff.😏

Stories from the Jukebox

I've Got It Bad

Okay, so before I get started let me just say that I’ve got it bad…

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5 months ago · 9 likes · 8 comments · MJ Polk

Stories from the Jukebox

Time And Time Again

This is my submission to this week’s Stories from the Jukebox song prompt, Time After Time, by Cyndi Lauper. Subscribe now to have your submission shared…

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6 months ago · 5 likes · 4 comments · MJ Polk

• And now we’re getting into essay territory. In Try To Get It Right, I talk about intention. Next I visit how sometimes it’s just easier to start over, empty the bin, and get Back to Square One. The Myth of Bobcaygen is about finding peace by confronting the obstacles that stand in our way. And in A Little Bit Them - A Little Bit Us, I discuss how the thoughts and actions of others only affect us as much as we let them.

Stories from the Jukebox

Try To Get It Right

This is my submission to this week’s SFTJ song prompt, Peace Somehow, by Avi Kaplan! Subscribe now so you don’t miss out on these weekly writing prompts…

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5 months ago · 12 likes · 4 comments · MJ Polk

Stories from the Jukebox

Back to Square One

This is my submission to this week’s SFTJ prompt, Back to Square One, by Ian Thomas. Subscribe now so you don’t miss out on these weekly writing prompts…

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5 months ago · 6 likes · 5 comments · MJ Polk

Stories from the Jukebox

The Myth of Bobcaygeon

This is my submission to this week’s SFTJ song writing prompt, Bobcaygeon, by The Tragically Hip. Subscribe now so you don’t miss out on these weekly prompts…

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6 months ago · 7 likes · 1 comment · MJ Polk

Stories from the Jukebox

A Little Bit Them - A Little Bit Us

This is my submission to this week’s Stories from the Jukebox song prompt, A Little Bit Me, a Little Bit You, by the Monkees. Subscribe now to have your submission shared…

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6 months ago · 9 likes · 4 comments · MJ Polk

• Now let’s slip off into a world of our own making — it’s fiction time! Travel to Amsterdam’s Red light District in No.90, or take a little trip with Hank Cotton in Right Place Wrong Time. Need a drink? Pull up a stool beside Johnny in I Still Miss Someone, or let Brian pour you a cold one at BJ’s Karoke Bar!

Stories from the Jukebox

No. 90

This is my submission to this week’s SFTJ prompt, A Bar In Amsterdam, by Katzenjammer. Subscribe now so you don’t miss out on these weekly writing prompts…

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5 months ago · 10 likes · 7 comments · MJ Polk

Southern Writers Guild

Right Place Wrong Time

You’re in the Right Place, and it’s the Wrong Time to skip-out on Subscribing. Gone ahead…

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7 months ago · 12 likes · 2 comments · MJ Polk

Stories from the Jukebox

I Still Miss Someone

Here’s my submission to this week’s song prompt, I Still Miss Someone, by Johnny Cash. Subscribe now to have your submission shared…

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8 months ago · 9 likes · 8 comments · MJ Polk

Stories from the Jukebox

BJ's Karaoke Bar

This is my submission to this week’s Stories from the Jukebox song prompt, Back in Black, by AC/DC. Subscribe to vote on next week’s song prompt and have your submission shared…

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10 months ago · 13 likes · 8 comments · MJ Polk

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Don’t like commitments, but still want to support my writing? You can make a one-time contribution here.

The message board lit up like the fourth of July.

Freedom said, “Breakfast at 8am. Everyone should be in position by six.” The others answered with the agreed upon code words in unison.

John closed his laptop and sighed heavily. Can there be no other way?

He opened the encrypted messaging app on the most recent burner and sent the group a message that said, “Breakfast is on. 6am sharp.”

He walked over to his work table and removed the sim card from the phone, picked up his small ball pin hammer and smashed both the sim card and phone to tiny bits. After sweeping the contents into the bin, he placed the hammer to its rightful position.

John looked at his watch, five hours until he would need to be in position.

The Mission: support the guerrillas in their attack on the incoming wave of troops advancing on their location.

John was torn though. He couldn’t be sure of which side his true alliance set. There just wasn’t enough credible information available. Everything had been so chaotic in the weeks leading up to the coup, John hadn’t been sure what was real news and what was fake. And then everything just went black.

So the choice had been made for him. The rebels recruited him. And they were the ones in control of his zone, so he had little choice in the matter.

He’d heard from some, that the troops were coming to liberate them. But there was no way to know for sure. The guerrillas also claimed to be liberators.

He sat in torment over the next few hours. The events leading up to this moment swirling through his mind. The same question over and over as if on repeat, Can I go through with this?

When the time came, John collected his gear and loaded it into his pick up. He then proceeded to his assigned location, and took up his position. When he powered up the new burner there was a message waiting, “Breakfast at 8am.”

Fucking aye John. What are you going to do?

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The blast went off the instant his watch struck eight. Then shots unleashed with a fury he’d not heard in many years. John had done two tours in Afghanistan as a Marine Sniper. His mission had always been troop support — call sign, Dark Angel.

But this was different. He’d been able to avoid the fighting up to this point. The enemy had been clear before, not so much now. He did not want to kill on his home soil.

He watched the group of troops advance through his rifle scope. He scanned over all of his neighbors’ positions, as well.

A flash caught his naked eye, Tom and Tommy Jr had opened fire prematurely. And the troops were focusing all their attention on the two of them. John picked off two of the threats quickly, then missed the third shot as the soldier ducked behind an amphibious assault vehicle.

John picked up the Roku remote and pressed the home button, setting off a chain of explosions behind the assault force’s position. This signaled the rest of his neighborhood to open fire.

With his trigger finger no longer hesitant. The Dark Angel descended onto the troops beneath him. He unleashed his wrath on any enemy that dared show himself.

He and his tiny brigade of neighbors fought valiantly, but were ultimately no match for the shear numbers of troops that continued to pour onto the battlefield — a place that had just one year ago been a peaceful community.

Life During Wartime had changed everything. The fighting had began far away, over seas, as it usually does. But things at home had begun to worsen. The political machine had lost touch with it’s people, and riots began. Skirmishes broke out in the larger cities at first, and then quickly spread into the rural areas.

And now John found himself shooting down his fellow countrymen, like he had wild hogs over a corn plot. God forgive me.

He saw the rocket propelled grenade launch in his direction…

The End

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This flash fiction story was inspired by the Stories from the Jukebox song prompt, Life During Wartime, by Talking Heads!

I had something else in mind for this week, but thought this was just too good not to share it with you. So I hope you enjoyed it! Here’s the Jukebox newsletter. Be sure to look in the comments for the other submissions!

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Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it and clicking that ❤ button, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Oh and if you’re an email reader, just hit reply — I want to hear from you too!

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This is my submission to this week’s SFTJ song prompt, Don’t Look Back In Anger, by Oasis. Chosen by my pal, .

I’ve mentioned before how I don’t make a habit of mixing my publication posts. I also mentioned last week, how I felt as though my essays have been rather flat lately. But the thing is, I feel as though I’ve shared some really great work over on the Jukebox. But I don’t send those out to readers, I usually only send out the one newsletter. So I say all that to say this, I’m no longer going to make this harder that is has to be.

So starting with this week’s blog post I’ll be sharing more of these prompts with you, my blog readers. And I think you’ll enjoy this change, as these prompts often inspire me to share things that I’ve kept hidden away.

This is the thing isn’t? The thing we have to do, or to not do, right? Don’t Look Back In Anger.

It’s tough though. It’s hard not to be pissed off about past events or actions of others. The people that let us down, or worse, wronged us in some way. This one is especially hard for me — given the events that unfolded in my life, and therefore my family’s life back in 2018…

This isn’t something that I want to talk about. But I don’t know how to say this, without just saying it; I’ve been blackballed and ostracized by the community I grew up in.

Why, you might ask?

Because I shuttered a failing business, ran away from a failing marriage, and failed to return to beg forgiveness for sins I never committed. It is mostly because of the lies of others that I am now an outcast.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I didn’t make selfish choices that hurt my family. Because I did. And I regret those actions every single day. But the four people that I wronged, have all forgiven and welcomed me back into their lives. It took time and effort. I’ve had to fight a lot of demons to win back their trust. And I will not let them down again.

I also understand why the others said the things they did. I mean not exactly why, I’m not in their heads. But I do get it. They ran with the facts they had. And since I was not there to fill in the blanks, they used the only other resource they could find — their imagination to fill in said blanks. Then, you tell the story enough times it becomes true.

I was angry at them for a long time. But luckily I found this passage from Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations a couple of years ago, that’s helped me move on. It said:

I too was ignorant. I looked for cause and blame in every situation. I’d spread rumors in the past. I was one of them. So I Don’t Look Back In Anger, because they know not what they do. They believe they are justified. They are embarrassed and trying to save face. And if I we’re them — in their shoes, with their same life experience and knowledge — I’d see things the same as they do.

All of those events — even the lies that were said, and spread — those same things, are part of what has helped to bring me to where I am today. And from where I’m now standing, I can see nothing but beauty.

How could I be mad about that?

As it turns out, those hardships we’re a blessing in disguise. If I hadn’t lost everything, or so I thought, I may have never found my true path. I may have continued to take my loved ones for granted — not to mention, we wouldn’t have the Littles. And they’re my heart! So, I Don’t Look Back In Anger. At least, I try not to.

But if I’m being truthful with you all now — I’m not sure that I have reached the point yet, that I Don’t Look Back Anger. Not totally. There are still times when thoughts of the past get my blood boiling. But I’m working on it. I hit the Pause Button. I recite a mantra, R-E-L-A-X. Relax, it’s going to be okay. And I glance down at that tattoo on my left wrist that says, Amor Fati🤍. A constant visual reminder, not only to not judge — but to love fate, and all that it has in store for us.

This is the thing isn’t? The thing we have to do, so that we Don’t Look Back In Anger.

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Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it and clicking that ❤ button. Email readers, just hit reply — I want to hear from you too! What do you do to avoid Looking Back In Anger?

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Here’s last week’s, just in case you missed it😉

How about a little bit of fiction?😏

Speaking of fiction — have you seen Rick’s novel First Light over on the SWG?

Southern Writers Guild

First Light

1: Home Sweet Home…

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4 months ago · 9 likes · 2 comments · primalbeet

If it feels like I’ve been missing a little depth in my essays lately, I understand. I feel it too. One of my Creative Writing Professors called this, “writers block.” But to that I would say, I’m not blocked, I’ve been writing lots!

The thing is though, writer’s block comes in many different forms. It’s anything that keeps you from writing.

It’s not always sitting in front of a blank screen, just watching the cursor blink. It can be literally anything: The day job, or family obligations. It could be a side project that suddenly jumped to the forefront. The time of day, or night — if you’re like me and wake up at 3am with the most brilliant prose that’s ever been conceived. And then are lucky if fragments make it onto paper.

Writer’s block could come in the form of your favorite k-9 companion, or I guess it’s counterpart if you like being stalked. It can be anything that keeps us from writing.

So what’s keeping me from writing?

Admin. I’ve got Admin Galore!

I must admit that I have not been spending much time studying at all lately. My morning meditation and study time is still there, but barely. As soon as I’m done, my mind has moved on to something else — something writing related yes, but it’s more Admin than actual writing.

There’s a lot more that goes into the social aspect of the craft than I originally thought. Well, maybe not more than I thought — I always knew that this would be a part of it, I just couldn’t have actually imagined myself doing it.

Y’all, I only just created my Instagram and X accounts a couple months before I joined Substack last year. Here are my handles over there if anyone wants to connect. X.com/mjpolkwriter & Instagram.com/thesoutherncopywriter (Disclaimer- I ain’t there much. I had to make myself share the Dueling Jukeboxes prompt there earlier this week. It just ain’t my kinda scene, if you know what I mean.)

Substacker and author talked about this recently in his post titled, Striking the Balance. In it he discusses what he calls being a good Literary Citizen — supporting fellow writers, the pull of social media. And how, putting the writing first, is the only real solution.

This brings me to admit that when I say Admin, I’m lumping quite a bit of stuff in there with it. Which is basically, anything that is not writing. Including you all, sorry. And that’s part of the problem, a bunch of it is actually fun! I like being here and participating in this community. It’s fun to make and edit videos over on the Guild. The Jukebox newsletter an absolute freaking blast!

(Plus like Jason says, the days of being a loner and people reading your writing and thinking it’s cool that you’re a mystery, are over. That shit is creepy, or they’ll probably just assume your AI.)

But all that takes up a huge chunk of time — not to mention, brainpower. It can be mentally exhausting. And for some reason I find it much easier to escape into fiction, than in writing personal essays. Whether that be reading it, or writing it.

And it’s not that I’m not writing essays either, it’s just a lot harder to maintain focus on those projects or subjects when my writing time is broken up. I typically blurt out the first draft of a personal essay all at once, while in the heat of creative flow. And that’s hard to duplicate once it’s been broken. Where when I’m writing fiction or auto-fiction, it’s pretty easy to slip back into that world after reading a previous chapter.

And I think it’s more likely that this is the most common form of writer’s block today. I mean, it’s hard for me to imagine not having anything to write — do you have any idea, just how many ideas are in my idea bucket? Actually, I bet most of you who are writers do have an idea — because your idea bucket is overflowing too!

I know that my friend gets it! She’s mentioned how she’s been overwhelmed with Admin lately also.

It’s rarely going to be, staring at a blinking cursor these days. I think it’s much more likely to be a time issue. We’re all pulled in so many directions constantly, it can be extremely difficult to make time for our art.

Unless of course we’re talking specificity. Now if there is one particular thing that has to be written next, then I get it. I could totally see writer’s block being the dreaded, Blinking Cursor in that case. Because, I don’t think that’s how creativity works at all. At least that’s not how it works for me. I think, if you’re trying to force a story — you’re flat out doing it wrong.

Does that make me an amateur? I don’t know, maybe.

But I don’t see it that way at all. I think that if there’s pressure to write some specific thing before it’s time has arrived, than writing has been turned into a chore. It’s not Art anymore, it’s Work. So I’m obviously not talking about creating copy here. In fact, in that case you get handed a subject and you write about it. Easy-peasy.

Okay, so back to The New Writer’s Block — Marketing & Social Media, or any other outside force keeping you from writing. What do we do about it?

I don’t know. Na, I’m just kidding.

No not really, I really don’t know. 🙃 But I am trying to figure it out. And I’ve got a lot more to say about this… Is it an impossible feat? Jason lays out a great approach, and I have made a few changes lately — maybe we can all figure this out together! What y’all think?

What if I made this an open call for submissions, and offered to follow this newsletter up with a second one including some of your ideas on how to juggle this new monster? This New Age Writer’s Block.

Prompt- How do you balance all the Admin Galore, with putting the writing first? Or is there something else that vies for your writing time?

So here’s what we’ll do. If three or more of you answer yes to the above Poll, I’ll plan to follow up this newsletter in 4 weeks with another that includes everyone’s submissions to the prompt. There’s no competition here. The only thing there is to win is participation in the conversation, and hopefully together we find a remedy to this New Age Writer’s Block.😉

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If you’ve answered yes, just add your submission or a link to it in the comments. I’ll check back in a couple weeks, say around the 20th of April, and respond to any submissions. And if we get three or more, I’ll make it a newsletter. I’m really interested to see what y’all have to say!

Oh and if you’re not interested in making your own response, I hope you’ll stick around to see how the others are dealing with the challenges of Writer’s Block. I’m willing to bet that these tactics can be applied to all sorts of adversity!

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Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it and clicking that ❤ button. Email readers, just hit reply — I want to hear from you too! I would love to hear how you are dealing with the constant demand for your attention.

Psst😏here's my Tip Jar🫙

Don’t like commitments, but still want to support my writing? You can make a one-time contribution here.

Speaking of Admin… Remember, this isn’t my only pub. Here are some of my recent favorites from the Guild & Jukebox. See what I mean, I have been writing lots!

Southern Writers Guild

The Little Shops That Were

So I was sitting on the Porch, doing what boomers do, talking about how great the past was. I was talking about that time the gator charged into the convenience store in Cape Coral. Which led to Grace talking about roadside peanuts and peach ice cream. Which led to Hank reminiscing about the bootleggers behind the Quality Inn. So we decided to each writ…

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5 months ago · 14 likes · 5 comments · MJ Polk, primalbeet, and Gray

Stories from the Jukebox

No Rain

This is my submission to Jennifer’s SFTJ Dueling Jukeboxes song prompt, No Rain, by Blind Melon. Subscribe now so you don’t miss out on these weekly writing prompts…

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4 months ago · 10 likes · MJ Polk

Stories from the Jukebox

I've Got It Bad

Okay, so before I get started let me just say that I’ve got it bad…

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5 months ago · 9 likes · 8 comments · MJ Polk

And here’s a blooper, cut from my voiceover. Idk why I could not say specificity… Blocked maybe? I finally just gave up🙃🤣

I’ve noticed something…

My day seems to be much more productive when I Get Up & Get Going.

I actually think that the new time change has helped me in that respect. Maybe it’s a better match for my body clock? I don’t know for sure why, but I’ve sure struggled to get going in the mornings for the past few months.

We’ve all been there right? Snuggled underneath a warm blanket. And if we’re really lucky, we might even be curled up with a lover. Well, it isn’t only us commoners that must grapple daily with the vice of sloth. In his journal, known to us as Meditations, Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius repeatedly counseled himself on the matter. Saying:

Shoot, fictional characters even struggle with it! Looks like no one is immune…

So how do I, Get Up & Get Going?

Well to begin with, I’m probably not the best tutor on the subject. Actually, wasn’t I just sharing that same Marcus quote? Am I the only one that seems to be learning the same lessons over and over?

And just today — I actually got back into bed after I’d gotten up! Wait just a minute, I know what you’re thinking — just hear me out. I did it intentionally, so that makes it alright. Right?

I mean look, if the most important thing to me is spending time with my loved ones. And she starts pout’n when I get up and put my robe on. Then you can’t blame a fella for shucking that joker, and sliding back underneath the covers every now and then. I mean, she does have to share me with the whole world once we do get up and going. (Haha, I joke to her all the time that I’m world famous now that I’ve got subscribers and sold books outside of the USA😉)

So again, I might not be the best tutor on the subject. 🤔 But then, maybe that’s exactly what does make me a good tutor on the subject! Because this is what it really looks like in real life to work on improvement.

I’m no Sage — I haven’t gotten anything figured out. But I am learning and getting better. And although I may not always be moving forward, if I continue to practice, my gains will outweigh any losses incurred along the way. Small Steps, as Zeno said.

I wish I had some great secret to share with you — a trick to getting up and getting going every day without fail. But I don’t. The only advice I have is to be grateful you’ve woken yet again. Gratitude is always the best way to start anything. But frankly, that isn’t always easy either.

So I’ll keep trying to, Get Up & Get Going, each and every day. Will I always succeed? Probably not. Will I win more times than I lose? Certainly.

Want to get more accomplished? Be more productive? Successful?

The most successful people in today’s world all have one thing in common — they Get Up & Get Going! There’s no sense in naming names, you know who they are. But I’ll close with a quote and blog post from one of them:

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Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post, please consider sharing it and clicking that ❤ button, and I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments. Oh and if you’re an email reader, just hit reply — I want to hear from you too! Do you struggle to rise each day, too?

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Don’t like commitments, but still want to support my writing? You can make a one-time contribution here.

Here’s the full video from this week’s Southern Writers Guild recording. Myself, Rick, and Grace discuss Rick’s new Thursday Guild Feature, First Light — his short story Antique Bastards, and novella Saudade. And we ramble off course a couple times in the process, too. Enjoy!

Southern Writers Guild

Granddads, Grown Men on Scooters, and Lumineering

Hank Cotton did a star turn worthy of the name as the inaugural featured writer on the Southern Writers Guild. His novella—“The Ugly Duckling”—brought us chills and a rare look into the seamy underside of the trucking world. Great work…

Listen now

5 months ago · 4 likes · primalbeet, Gray, and MJ Polk

Oh, and here’s the one from last week! The crew tries to get Hank Cotton to talk, The Ugly Duckling, but he’s more interested in discussing other things…